Rev. Fiona Heath – To Live Well

As we turn from summer to fall, we consider today the physical joys of abundance and generousity.  What does it mean to live well?

Rev. Fiona Heath became a UU minister in September 2012 and was ordained in May 2013.  Now she is our part-time minister.  She lives in Waterloo with her partner and son.

The complete sermon can be read below:

Douglas Adams, who wrote Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,  is one of my favourite authors.   He once wrote:  “For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on— whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
I thought of this wry comment as I explored the meaning of living well this week.  What does it mean to live well?  Should we just be mucking about in the water?
This question of living well may seem trivial.  It felt that way to me, trying to find something useful to say to all of you. Every day the news seems to be filled with horrible tragedy.  Bus accidents, train accidents, shooters in malls and offices,
oppressive regimes killing their own people, terrible random deaths caused by people in great pain or simply bored. 
It sometimes seems to me that the dolphins are the ones who got it right.
But in this brief moment at the balance of the year, knowing the darkness we are capable of, the brightness of humanity needs to also be remembered.
The pleasure and deep satisfaction of living well reminds us that life is more than a headlong rush into death.
Asking questions about what it means to live well are part of our common humanity.  The striving desire to live our one precious life in a way that satisfies the soul and contributes to the whole is present all over this world.  The answers might be different across the ages and by culture and circumstance, but the desire to live a good life is perennial.
 Over twenty three hundred years ago, the Greek philosopher Epicurus suggested that
“It is not possible to live a pleasant life without also living wisely and honourably and justly, nor to live wisely and honourably and justly without living a pleasant life. For the excellences grow up together with the pleasant life, and the pleasant life is inseparable from them.”
I appreciate this sense of integrity: a life that is truly pleasurable must be one that is lived wisely and justly.  We often make a distinction between a pleasant life and a just one.  If we enjoy our life, we must be doing something wrong.  We are slacking off. We are not trying hard enough to be a success, we aren’t fully contributing to society.
Epicurus, however, suggests that it is all related.  That you can not have live well without living justly.  And if you find your way to living rightly and honourably and wisely, your life will be joyful.
This of course, is easier said than done.  There are lots of very well paid self help authors out there who believe they can tell you the one true path to living well.
If you just follow those seven steps or do the five exercises all will be well.
And if it isn`t, you didn`t try hard enough, or just need the latest book, with a different set of directions… and on it goes.
This ancient epicurean philosophy provides a more complex understanding of living well.  One that includes self awareness and acknowledgement of our connection to others and the whole.
Living well does not mean having it all together.  It does not mean having the perfect job or the perfect family or the perfect house.  It does not mean never getting angry or never making mistakes.  It does not mean avoiding sorrow and always being happy and content. 
Living well is more elusive than that.  To live well means to live in a way that suits who you are.  It does not mean getting it right, but getting it right for yourself. To live well means to live in a way that supports who you are, that provides a cushion for the tough times, making it easier to bounce back.
Epicurus says to live well is to live wisely. To live wisely is to know yourself. 
It is the art of self awareness – of knowing your skills and interests,
of knowing what you need to be you. 
To live well we must first know what our own gifts and needs are.
Writer and teacher Parker Palmer calls this integrity:  knowing what is integral to selfhood and choosing life enhancing ways to gain that which is necessary.
I have a friend who for many years was part of a band. When the band broke up, he was relieved, having found the experience draining. He turned away from playing guitar, thinking he had simply moved on. Eventually he realized that it was the performing he disliked, as an introvert, public performance was too stressful.
But he missed creating music desperately, and has come to the conclusion that simply playing guitar for the pleasure of it, just on his own, is part of what he needs to be himself.
Having a job or a passion where we can simply be and get lost in the activity is balm for our spirits. We need activities that bring out the best in us,  that allows us to be our whole selves.
I became a minister in part because of Palmer’s advice. 
The work I did at the Survey Research Centre did not use my best gifts. 
I was good at my job but it wasn’t satisfying. 
This was made even more clear because I had the good fortune to have a boss and a colleague for whom survey research was just right. 
Mary and Kathleen excelled at the work because it fascinated them. 
They were passionate about the art – and it is an art – of asking questions.   Both had brilliant mathematical and logical minds and happily met the daily challenges of our work.  I took the job at the centre because we had bought a house and we needed the money. 
Being able to choose ministry, which is far more fulfilling to me, has been a great gift. 
It took time to trust that this was the right change, to give up the security of a university job and move towards something new.
It takes time to trust our inner voice, the one that tells us what we really need. 
It takes time to become our unique and whole selves,  and not lose anything essential on the way.  It can be hard work to face our past, filled with loss and grief and mistakes, and accept it all as it is. The past is unchangeable, but lies there still for us to learn from,
to grow wiser in ourselves. Reconciling ourselves to old mistakes and injuries
helps us remember that we are all whole and holy beings.
Living wisely won’t prevent us from making new mistakes, but it may help us repair the damage a little quicker, or recover a little faster.
So to live wisely we need to know ourselves and be true to that self. 
What does it mean to live honourably? 
The original greek has also been translated as to live beautifully. 
Perhaps to live beautifully, with honour, is to live by your values.
This is also no easy task.
As Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Waterson says “creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement”. 
Rare, perhaps, but possible.
To live beautifully goes back to integrity again. So that we do not just know ourselves,
but express that knowledge in our daily actions. If ice cream is the dessert that delights you, you wouldn’t open a cupcake shop.
To live with honour, to live in a way in which your inner beliefs are reflected in your outer choices, you have to know what your values are.
As Unitarian Universalists, we have our seven principles to guide us. 
As Unitarians we are asked to see each person’s inherent worth and dignity.  Even the annoying and unhelpful department store clerk.
Even the difficult co-worker.
We are asked to treat others well, to be generous and kind,
even when we feel petty and mean.
I won’t go through all our principles, but each one asks us what we value, what is worth fighting for, not just for ourselves but for all people.
Living well, then, through living honourably, becomes about more than ourselves. 
We can`t live well on our own.
Epicurus calls us to live rightly, to live justly. 
We might know ourselves well, we may have gotten to a place of satisfaction with our lives.  We might feel our lives have integrity and honour.
But if others don’t have those same options, then we can’t live honourably.
Not as Unitarians who are part of the interdependent web.
We are all connected, and if our lives, no matter how lovely and good,
have a foundation in the oppression of others,
then we can’t live truly live well.
And I believe we know it.
The first world problems of stress and depression and anxiety,
arise in part because we are always, at some level, aware that so much of our relatively good fortune relies on the exploitation of others. 
Global consumer capitalism requires it.
Our clothes are dependent on the sweatshop labour of women and girls.
Our food is harvested by migrant workers in harsh conditions.
So how do we live with pleasure knowing these unpleasant truths?
By being aware, by being honest, by trying to live our values.
We may fail a thousand times, but every attempt keeps us whole and moves society, however slowly, towards a better place.
And it is not only okay, but good to live pleasurably.
It is the pleasure in life that allows us to make the difficult choices and
face the hard truths. 
Guilt doesn’t help anyone, but joy refreshes us all.
Unitarian professor Sharon Welch reminds us of the goodness of life:
"The wellspring of decency is loving this life in which people die, people suffer, there are limits, and we make mistakes.  The wellspring of moral action is not utopia, not a counterfactual vision, not a declaration that the world could and should be otherwise.
Rather, it is a deep affirmation of the joy, richness, and blessing that the world is.
The ground of challenging exploitation, injustice, and oppression is not a vision of how the world could be or will be in the future in the reign of God, or after the revolution.
The ground of challenging injustice is gratitude,  the heartfelt desire to honor the wonder of that which is;  to cherish, to celebrate, to delight in the many gifts and joys of life."
I think Epicurus would approve.  Joyous living, challenging injustice are tangled together.  You can’t have one without the other. The joy of life is the reason to work to make the world better for all.
 “It is not possible to live a pleasant life without also living wisely and honourably and justly, nor to live wisely and honourably and justly without living a pleasant life. For the excellences grow up together with the pleasant life, and the pleasant life is inseparable from them.”
Epicurus believed that task of philosophy first and foremost as a form of therapy for life, since philosophy that does not heal the soul is no better than medicine that cannot cure the body. In our complex difficult world filled with complex difficult people, we need our living tradition to help us see ourselves whole.
Our principles guide us in living our values.
Our sources connect us the delights of being alive and part of this wonderful world.
The light of the chalice reminds us of the bright flame within us.
May your spirit be renewed by the pleasures of life. 
May you find your way to wholeness through wisdom, honour and justice.
May you find your way to joy.
May it be so.